Dear Nicole Arbour

Dear Nicole Arbour

I would like to first introduce myself; my name is Jordan, I'm 20 and I weigh 16 stone and 12 pounds. I don't even want to know what my BMI is but what I do know is that I am not happy with the way I look. However, saying that, I am on a weight loss journey. I have lost two stone in under two months and am, for once, looking forward to the rest of the journey that's yet to come. And, funnily enough, its a not a decision I made based on comments you decided to share to the world. 

I have been overweight for a couple of years, but truth is, I haven't been in the right mental state to actually begin losing weight until now. And that is something I believe to be half the problem people face. If your not in good place emotionally, then your weight loss can very easily turn into an eating disorder. And when people with a online following, such as yourself, create content which is by all definitions bullying, your creating more of a problem. I value the art of comedy, don't get me wrong, but what you have created is not that. Comedy is described as a 'professional entertainment consisting of jokes and sketches, intended to make an audience laugh.' Your video titled 'Dear Fat People', is neither professional nor entertaining, well it is laughable, but only because what you have developed is a video endorsing the bullying of people you have never met. 

I understand that obesity is a problem, and while the underlying message of your video is valid, the way you chose to convey that message was rude and uncalled for. Yes, people, like myself, do need to lose weight and it will affect their health and their life negatively to continue in a unhealthy lifestyle. Yet the way to promote weight loss is not to bully them into it, but to endorse healthy eating and exercise. Show people a better way of life through kindness and experience rather than, for lack of a better word, shame them into changing their lifestyle not for their wellbeing, but as a means of escaping bullies. That self hatred will only develop into an eating disorder, which is not the healthy way to lose weight. Just like there is a healthy way to lose weight, there is a healthy way to promote that too. 

Im sure this post won't reach you, but to the people it does reach, I hope that you have the confidence and support to begin a journey for yourselves. Don't ever begin changing the way you look or live you life for the purpose of pleasing someone you don't know or believe it to be okay to bully people they've never met. You each have your own story and its up to you to write your ending, not some self-entitled 'comedian' who believes its their duty to body shame you. I want to endorse a healthy life style, eating well and exercising and I know that kickstarting a change in your life is hard. I feel it every time I go to the gym and I'm sure I'm being judged by every person in there, when in fact, I am making a small change that will impact my life positively and that isn't something to be ashamed of. 

I wish each and everyone of you goo luck for your journey, and hope that you have the positivity in your life to start this journey. 

xx

The one where I get all emotional

Hello all! 

A lot has happened in the last year... And I won't drone on about what but I'm actually pretty happy that they have! I am most definitely the person who would rather make a mistake and learn from it rather than have a perfect life and not know of sadness, loss, regret, guilt, anger and a whole range of emotions. 

A couple of days ago was Mother's Day, and I'm pretty traditional when it comes to public holidays and love spending it with my family! But having just got a new job I couldn't spend this one with my mum, so had to celebrate a couple of days earlier. This was the first Mother's Day I hadn't spent with her and it was a pretty emotional day. 

What you don't know is I've only ever known life an me and my mum. My grandparents and others of course but I made the decision early in not to be in contact with my dad, he hadn't done something major to make me hate him but spending time with him became an effort. He kept moving further and further away and he became less of a dad and more of a memory. I have very few memories of us together and will treasure them but am lucky that as I dawn on 21 I'm not regretting this decision. So my mum has been the be all and end all of everything I know and have been through. And it made me realise that in this pretty tough year, she's been the one to always be there. Regardless of how far away she is I can always count on her support. And I do regret not being able to spend as much time with her as I'd like, but I know that she wouldn't want to be the reason I hold back from doing things or Irving my own life. 

Another big transition in my life as been the passing through of many friends. I don't know what this one says about me but I genuinely lack a lifelong friend. Someone I've known for years and can always rely on. My mum has definitely been that person for me so when meeting new people I'm pretty laid back about the whole situation. I tend to take a step back and enjoy just spending effortless time together. So when things become an effort, I tend to get a bit defensive. When friends start picking apart tiny things that have happened I get a bit annoyed that that should matter. And in turn get a bit angry. And, in turn talk to them less and less. I suppose I'm just yet to find someone who has the same viewpoint. So have learnt to enjoy my own company :) 

So in all, I guess I want to say that it's okay. One day you will find the person who gets you and until then don't give up. Start doing new things that you enjoy and you may find that person there! You are never alone. Never. Whether it's your mum or dad that is that person for you someone out there is waiting to find you. And keep doing new and exciting things until you finally cross paths! That's what this journey for me is all about. And it's been an amazing journey so far :) 

We'll it's started to rain here in Greenwich park so it's time I found cover! 

Good luck for your journey! 

Love an pugs from a rainy London 

We'll hugs but pugs too 

J xx

The one where I give in!

Hello my lovelies! 

I would like to apologise if it may seem as though I have dropped off the face of the planet! I have recently started a new job and juggling my time between work and uni has been tough as I haven't had a day off in a month! And I know I've been promising a new post so much and have finally got the time and energy to write one! 

The one when the film is better!

Hiya my loves...

This blog is a little different to others, its neither beauty nor lifestyle focused but indeed is something that is very much a controversial topic of conversation.
For as long as I can remember I have always considered books to be way better than their film adaptations and had yet to be corrected. What I always preferred was that I could read a book and imagine that character how I wanted them to be not what the casting director wanted them to look like. On some occasions they got it very right but in others completely wrong... I'm still hating the casting of the entire Twilight trilogy. But nonetheless the books are always more immersive and exciting to me, the thought of holding a copy of a good book gets me very excited!
On a completely unrelated note... thoughts on fifty shades if you've seen it? I was disappointed, and not because I think the book has literary credential, but behind all the kinky sex theres a pretty decent story line going on there! And, not to mention, whose not in love with Christian Grey? As for the film, I had low expectations (I was pretty much there for Jamie Dornan) but they jiggled too much of the chronology and that bugged me a little. But anyway... onwards...
I had read Cecelia Ahern's originally titled 'Where Rainbows End' or you may of seen it as 'Love Rosie'. I love Ahern as a writer, I own a lot of her books and PS I Love You will forever be a favourite! Very briefly, its about two childhood friends whose lives get very complicated and uncertain as they try to stay in touch... I hope I didn't give anything away! I didn't really rate the book. The book has a lot of twists and turns and the storyline is very complicated and you wouldn't expect half of it to happen when it does!  Its all in the format of emails and is a little difficult to get in to but I still managed to read it in three days! Then I found out that they had made a movie and finally got round to watching it today! First up, I loved the casting, it got better than Sam Claflin as Alex, but Tasmin Egerton as Sally was incredible and I loved seeing her in this film! They have very much simplified the story line to be a lot easier to follow and they skipped so much of the boring bits to make it less tedious! I would recommend the film this time and absolutely loved it, such a great story line too!
Let me know if there are any books/films that you have enjoyed one over the other, I would love to see what you guys think!
Love and hugs
J xx

PS, here is a pretty picture of Jamie Dornan just to keep you going

A beautiful specimen of a man

The one with the Benefit Roller Lash

Hello everyone!

First up, thank you for the support over the last blog post, I hope it helps you and helps with any confidence issues!

So... I got my hands on the Roller Lash by Benefit today! Ahhhh its so pretty so here goes a quick blog post on my thoughts!

The one when its me

Oh hey, theres a picture that is indeed me!

The one with the Liebster Award!

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/13544429/?claim=upb93knxwcs">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>
I was nominated by the lovely Bébhinn to do this so without further a due I shall answer her questions and then you should go check out her blog! It's a good'un!

Photo Credit: www.agypsybreeze.com

The one where I live in Ikea!

I cannot remember ever getting excited when going into Ikea. We went in often since we lived only an hour or so away from one and I have had Ikea furniture in my room for a long as I remember but trips there never excited me. However, since uni and especially since having my own flat, I LOVE it! I think there are Ikea’s all over the world but if your unsure what they are they are basically a MASSIVE store that sells flat pack furniture and all things home ware and décor. I’ve been twice in the last 3 months and have come out with arms full of goodies on both trips. The market place at the end is my idea of heaven seeing lots of pretty things to jazz up my new flat and I have so many things that have zero purpose! Like a jar that has one of those hook and catch lids? Sure you know the ones. If I had brought a few I could put pasta and rice and stuff in it but I have just the one. Not entirely sure what to do with it. sits on my dressing table a bit lonely so if anyone has any functions for it please leave them in the comments! I just seem to get a little bit excited by seeing all the sets together and just wanting that kitchen and lounge and bedroom and study to look just like they do in the store! It’s impossible however. One, you will never be able to put it together quite the same. Two, my student budget wont allow for me to do it and three, name me one kind architect who has designed a house will equal square rooms! Thus, the better and more suitable option is to just live in side it!

The one with the online dating

Good day to you all!

I would like to impart some wisdom on what is becoming a particularly popular online presence, that being the world of online dating. My room mate and I joined a website called POF, acronym for the website Plenty of Fish. First issue I had was right there, I kept wanting to call it FOP, to which a flop this whole experience has been. But nonetheless I signed up and completed the online compatibility and personality tests which brings me to issue two, it took an hour and a half to complete just these tests. Add this on to the extra 45 minutes to resize the photos and find a suitable and not at all pretentious username and you've taken 2 hours plus to create a profile. In this time, I could have gone to a bar in central London and met someone in the flesh. Not by judging someone wholly on a picture.

Issue three comes from the personal description part of this whole set depreciating process. Im not entirely sure if this is just me but I had the issue that I needed to write enough to not be considered a fake profile, but not as much to come across as a psycho who shares their life history online! Rewind to the part where empty personal descriptions make me wary. An empty one makes me extremely nervous. I feel like the person who has written it is not in fact a 22 year old trainee lawyer but a 50 year old sex slave ring leader. Call me Anxious Annie or Cautious Clare but i've seen too many CSI's to trust an empty personal description box.

Issue four: photos, both my own and others. My photo choices are not very varied. I'm not extremely photogenic and shy away from the camera pretty much always. So finding a photo of me that I like and is not one of me where I'm gurning in the background is extremely difficult. Especially since I'm morally outraged and against selfies. And then onto the topic of other people's photos, if you put up one photo that is a black and white head shot, then I will assume your a creepy 50 year old. Put up 5 selfies, and I will assume your a self-obsessed prick. And put up 5 photos of you out on nights out, topless with 7 girls, then I know your a self-obsessed slut.

Issue 5: The whole concept of online dating. That your basing your decision on a picture. I am guilty of this and is a reason I hate myself, and try not to but thats just something I have to accept is a reality. Even dating in real life, I hate judging someones personality based on what they look like... ugh hating myself for writing this but its the harsh truth! But during the online dating process, theres a part when this judging is intensified by a hundred. On POF there is a app and on this is a part called 'Meet Me' where a series of photos come up to which you respond with a Yes or No. I hate this with every inch of my being and the whole idea is so self depreciating! Won't continue with this rant as nothing more will be written through angst.

Issue 6: First dates. You literally have no idea who you are meeting up with. They could be anyone, you don't have any idea if they actually look like their picture and you could be kidnapped right there off the streets. Adding another name to my list here, Suspicious Sally. Also, the other end of this, is the fear that you are not what they got from your pictures or personal description and that there will be the awkward 'ahh nice to meet you stranger who has a capability to look completely different in person than on the photo'.

Issue 7 is the last but most infuriating point, that people just drop off the face of the earth! I was texting someone for about a week, promises of meeting up and had spent the whole week talking to each other. He managed to find and add me on Facebook and we had plans to meet. Then, out of nowhere, did not get a good morning text and never heard from him again. My stalker tendencies have kicked in and made me not delete him off Facebook but nonetheless frustrating!

So I hope you have enjoyed my imparting wisdom. And I depart telling you this, don't bother with the hassle of it all! Go out, meet a person not a CV and don't fret about the complications of it all!

Love and Hugs

Anxious Annie, Cautious Clare and Suspicious Sally
xx

The one with the christmas gifts and the sale buys!

Good day to you all! 

I have a heffer of blog for you today as instead of splitting this into christmas gifts and shopping bits I thought it would be easier to combine the two! Especially since they would be very odd length posts as there is a lot that were gifts and only a few bits that I brought. Links are all in the picture captions! Also, apologies for the photography, the sun did not want to cooperate but I hope these are not too blurry or dark! 

The one with the beauty resolutions!

Good evening, morning, afternoon, insomnia stricken early morning!

I thought this would be a great post to do since I am extremely lazy when it comes to certain aspects of beauty so needed a kick up the back side to stop me from being so lazy! So here it goes, my beauty resolutions!

Hair

1) Deep Condition 
I am so very lazy when it comes to hair care. I am definitely a shampoo, condition and leave to dry girl and have discovered that my hair doesn't appreciate it! So I have purchased some leave in deep conditioner and am aiming to use it once a week! I am using a Tresemmé Split Remedy (£5.75 from Boots!) and thus far its proven to be great. I am not expecting it to cure split ends but it does reduce the 'ratty' feel of them!
2) Get it cut!
I have never got regular hair cuts and have tended to leave it to the very last minute! But now that my hair is getting long again, after a disastrous decision to cut it very short, I have decided to get regular trims! Even if its just a trim every 6 weeks I know it will keep my hair healthy and let it grow better too!
3) Stop dying it
I went through a faze of dying my hair every other week after another disastrous debacle when I dyed it red... (very questionable decision in hindsight) It is now very close to my natural colour and I am pledging to leave it so it can repair itself after months of damage :(

Beauty 

4) Cleanse!
I have never used a cleanser to take my make up off always choosing to use a wipe but after the amount of raving reviews about Emma Hardies cleanser I have ordered it and am waiting for it to arrive! I am very excited for this as it is the first 'high end' regime product I have ever purchased! If you have used this let me know in the comments or on my twitter to let me know what you think about it!
5) Moisturise 
Similarly to the previous one I am lazy when it comes to moisturising! I only ever use it when I am getting ready in the morning! I am currently using the No. 7 day and night creams and I can't say enough good things about it. It is very affordable and one pot lasts a long time so would highly recommend it!
6) Regular eyebrow wax
This has been implemented for a few months already but is something that is still very new to my life. Before my aunt used to pluck my brows for me and that was all I ever needed until I stumbled across the Benefit Brow Bar. Now I have a wax and tint every month and I don't know where I would be without it! They shape them depending on what suits your face and will wax in a way to enhance growth in places that need to be filled ect! A wax and tint does come in at £18 but they have a great rewards programme that makes it worth it! I am lucky that my mumma pays for mine but I'm pretty sure thats just a ruse so that I go home to see her once a month!

General 

7) Drink more water 
I am pledging to drink just water during the day! I wake up and drink a pint and then drink it as i would any other drink during the day (bar the essential cup of tea). I can already tell the difference in my skin and myself! The cheapest cure to any skin dilemma!
8) Take vitamins
Not primarily beauty but it makes me feel good so I'm throwing this in here! I am anaemic and have folic acid deficiency so am taking regular medication for that so alongside eating food with high levels of iron and folic acid I am pledging to take more vitamins to keep my immune system up and make sure my body is getting everything it needs! Beauty comes from the inside people!
9) Do yoga! 
Another random one but I love this form of exercise! I can't do a great amount of sport since having the third operation on my knee so beside the regular long walk/run I love doing yoga. Its so calming as well as a good core conditioning work out and it doesn't feel like you've done a whole exercise programme after!
10) Remove negative people! 
A nice end to this resolution list but nonetheless an important addition. I have discovered after a series of unfortunate events that you cannot dwell on or keep negativity in your life if you want to remain happy. Get that bad energy out and you will feel a hundred times better! Think of it as Feng Shui for your life! Organise one and the rest will fall into place!

Hope you all have enjoyed this! If you guys have done one or will now do one let me know I would love to have a read and see what your resolutions are!
Love and Hugs
A xx